was successfully added to your cart.

Cart

The 100th season of NFL is almost here! The Bears host the Packers to kickoff a momentous season that’s already seen a plethora of chaos. Just over the weekend, the Seahawks went all-in by trading Jadeveon Clowney, the Dolphins showed they’re all out on the next few seasons, and the Texans are aiming for the moon while wearing a blindfold.

Chaos is the theme of the year be it the Antonio Brown saga, the contract drama with the Dallas Cowboys, or Andrew Luck retiring. That might make it hard to predict what’s going to happen but the key to countering chaos is consistency. As different as this season looks, the outcomes will remain largely the same. That might sound boring but its actually a testament to all the teams that do things the right way. Here are some predictions that’ll age poorly by Halloween if not sooner!

2019 NFL Predictions: Consistency Wins Over Chaos

First Coach Fired

Last season it looked like Dirk Koetter would be the first man out but Ockham’s Razor pointed to Hue Jackson in neon lights. This year there really isn’t that figure. The Dolphins will be the worst team in the league but Brian Flores is a first-year coach and Miami warned him they were looking to tank for Tua.

Jay Gruden, Jason Garrett, and Ron Rivera all enter the season with hot seats but all three teams aren’t likely to make a move until the season ends.  The most likely of those three to be let go is probably Gruden because Washington is headed for another season where they’re mediocre at best. Jerry Jones just can’t quit Garrett, and despite the new ownership, Riverboat Ron should get a longer leash.

Mike Zimmer is tempting given the talent on the Vikings and Dan Quinn’s seat COULD get hot in Atlanta but the razor points to D.C. The real name to watch for is Matt Patricia and he is the only coach that could realistically get fired during the season. He probably squeaks out another year.

Bet On MyBookie

Pick: Jay Gruden

Defensive Player Of The Year

My large adult son and King of the Monsters, Aaron Donald, is the two-time defending champ and could very well do the hat trick. HOWEVER, he doesn’t have Ndamukong Suh to take away from double teams anymore so now he has to hope Michael Brockers, Tanzel Smart, and whomever else is upfront can make enough of an impact to free him up. That could happen but he’d probably have to actually break the sack record to justify it. Voter fatigue isn’t helping either.

The likely contender is Bradley Chubb. As a rookie, Chubb had 12 sacks and now the defense has a new look thanks to coach Vic Fangio. Fangio should really help Chubb be more disruptive than he was last year.

Pick: Bradley Chubb

Offensive Player Of The Year

This is an extremely difficult pick considering how many players either changed teams or got better situations. Still, it seems like even if reigning champ Patrick Mahomes takes a slight step back he’ll be streets ahead of anyone else. He could very easily repeat but to keep up his kind of production still seems insane.

If not Mahomes, it could be someone like Odell Beckham Jr. assuming the Browns’ offense is as advertised but he’d have to go OFF.

Other quarterbacks such as Baker Mayfield, Matt Ryan, or Aaron Rodgers could make a run too. It looks like Mahomes probably keeps the title but there are a lot of ways this could go.

Pick: Patrick Mahomes

Rushing Title

If the Zeke drama had continued, this award could go to Nick Chubb in Cleveland or James Conner in Pittsburgh, and there’s even a world where LeSean McCoy gets one last run now that he’s reunited with Andy Reid in KC. It’s tempting to pick Alvin Kamara but he doesn’t get the yardage that people think. Saquon Barkley will definitely have the most carries but given their tire fire of a line, he won’t get the most yards. Le’Veon Bell has the chance to give everyone a reminder that he is still one of the best backs in the league. Marlon Mack in Indy is tempting because they have an amazing line and their passing game is very much in flux. Logic says Chubb or Bell and while both teams have unproven lines Chubb is younger and poised for great things but that will have to wait. Zeke is out to prove he’s the best back in the league. He’s paid like it so now he has earn it.

Pick: Ezekiel Elliott

Most Receiving Yards

One might think Antonio Brown is a lock but given how bat guano he’s been and the whole being on the Raiders thing, it’s not happening. Michael Thomas and Julio Jones are the strongest candidates as they are by far the best receivers on their team and should be given a ton of passes. Beckham, Deandre HopkinsJuju Smith-Schuster, Adam Thielen, Cooper Kupp, and Mike Evans are all viable contenders too. Still, Thomas just got PAID and should live up to that deal immediately.

The Pick: Michael Thomas

Most Passing Yards

Last year Ben Roethlisberger took home this title and he could very well do it again. Everyone is leaving the Steelers for dead since Bell and Brown are gone but they still have Juju Smith-Schuster and always find receivers off the street. If not Ben, Mahomes was in second place for this last year but they might be more balanced now that they have Shady in the backfield. Matt Ryan is also very tempting because he has more protection now and the Falcons brought Dirk Koetter back to run the show.

The Pick: Matt Ryan

Biggest Surprise Team

For a decade the Tampa Bay Bucs were EVERYONE’S sleeper team. This time actually might be for real the year. They have a new coach in Bruce Arians and they brought Byron Leftwich to run the offense. Both coaches like to chuck it and if Jameis Winston is going to prove his worth as a starting quarterback this is the year. If he can’t flourish in an Arians offense then the Bucs will be looking to reboot like they cast Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man.

The NFC South is on some shaky ground. New Orleans could have a year from hell after bringing on so much bad karma following the NFC Championship game one would think they were playing on an ancient burial ground. Atlanta is always inconsistent, and Carolina has a lot of issues, highlighted by Cam Newton‘s “new normal” in terms of load management. The Bucs could ride an easy schedule to 10-6 and a possible wild card spot. This might actually happen. Or Winston could fall apart and the Bucs go 4-12 again.

The Pick: The Bucs

Biggest Disappointment

The Bears rode the formula of an upgrade coaching staff, easy schedule, and bold roster moves to make the playoffs. They lost Fangio to the Broncos and while they kept the defense intact, they traded Jordan Howard to the Eagles for a $5 gift card at the Wawa. Tarik Cohen never became the consistent playmaker everyone thought he would be and now he’s the primary back. Mitch Trubisky looked SHAKY last year but found a groove. He could regress with a harder schedule. Everyone is penciling in the Bears to remain atop the North but something feels off about them. The defense led the league in take aways and that is a hard thing to pull off two years in a row. If the defense takes a slight dip as Jacksonville’s did a year ago it could put more pressure on the offense to win games.

The Pick: DA BEARS

Comeback Player Of The Year

If Cooper Kupp truly is faster than he was a year ago and puts up numbers, this could very well be his award to lose. This pick probably reeks of bias but whatever. Fine, if not Kupp than Carson Wentz could win it if he can manage to make it through December unscathed.

The Pick: Cooper Kupp

Offensive Rookie Of The Year

Kyler Murray could pull off a mini Mahomes run given he’s got the right coach to do it and the Cardinals will likely be playing from behind all year. Murray has a chip on his shoulder given that he’s the number one pick and his height has been a talking point all year. Assuming he doesn’t hit a wall this is his award to lose.

The Pick: Kyler Murray

Defensive Rookie Of The Year

Nick Bosa is tasked with giving the Niners defense a pulse. He had some injuries during the preseason but between him and Josh Allen, it’ll be a close race. Bosa is the best pass rusher on that defense by default and Allen gets to play in the Jaguar’s system so he’ll have every opportunity to make an impact. Assuming Bosa is a one-man show and Allen fights with the vets on his team for sacks this is Bosa’s to lose. Still, the Niners haven’t had much luck lately.

The Pick: Josh Allen

Coach Of The Year

Bruce Arians has the formula to win this. If he gets the Bucs to look like a fully functional team again it’s his award to lose. Sure, Fangio in Denver, Matt LaFleur in Green Bay, and maybe even Kyle Shanahan could win this if things break right. If Frank Reich can turn the Luck lemons into lemonade he could get a lot of support. Bill Belichick is always lurking too. Arians is a beloved figure and seeing him make one last run after coming back from retirement is too tempting for anyone to pass up.

The Pick: Bruce Arians

MVP

Patrick Mahomes is the reigning MVP and he could do it again but history is not on his side. Quarterbacks typically win this award so that’s the most logical place to look. Drew Brees seemed like the guy to win it last year but he fell off as the season went along. Carson Wentz nearly won it two years ago before his body broke and Jared Goff will never be given credit for the offense putting up numbers (admit it). So who does that leave? Tom Brady? Maybe. Matt Ryan? If things break right. The other possibility is that Aaron Rodgers and Matt LaFleur actually make a good match and Rodgers gets the up-tempo offense he’s always wanted. If he can stay healthy and doesn’t violate rule 18 of crashing weddings and sulk, he can win. The narrative writes itself.

The Pick: Aaron Rodgers

2020 Draft Order

  1. Miami Dolphins
  2. Washington
  3. Cincinnati Bengals
  4. Detroit Lions
  5. Arizona Cardinals

Playoff Standings

NFC

  1. Los Angeles Rams (13-3)
  2. Philadelphia Eagles (13-3)
  3. Green Bay Packers (12-4)
  4. Atlanta Falcons (11-5)
  5. Seattle Seahawks (11-5)
  6. Tampa Bay Bucs (10-6)

AFC

  1. New England Patriots (14-2)
  2. Kansas City Chiefs (13-3)
  3. Baltimore Ravens (11-5)
  4. Houston Texans (11-5)
  5. Cleveland Browns (10-6)
  6. Denver Broncos (10-6)

Playoff Results

Wild Card Round NFC

Green Bay over Tampa Bay

Seattle over Atlanta

Wild Card Round AFC

Denver over Baltimore

Houston over Cleveland

Divisional Round AFC

New England over Denver

Kansas City over Houston

Divisional Round NFC

Philadelphia over Green Bay

Los Angeles over Seattle

AFC Championship

New England over Kansas City

NFC Championship

Philadelphia over Los Angeles

Super Bowl

New England over Philadelphia

Thank you for reading and for the love of God don’t bet money on any of this!

Jimmy Garoppolo NFL

NFL Logo. Photo Credit: Matt McGee – Under Creative Commons License

Chauncey Telese

Author Chauncey Telese

More posts by Chauncey Telese

Sports Al Dente 2019

%d bloggers like this: