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During the course of the 2016-2017 NFL season, we have spilled plenty of digital ink on the Eagles. One piece decried their up and coming team as the NFC’s version of the Bengals – a great regular season destined for post-season collapse. Another piece discussed their batsh%* crazy fans. One of those statements has been proven patently false. The other? Well, let’s just say that Eagles fans are who we thought they were.

Philadelphia Eagles Fans Are Who We Thought They Were

The irony of the recent backlash against overly exuberant Eagles fans is that nearly all of the 95 percent of Americans who don’t live in New England would root for a pile of damp laundry if it were playing against the Patriots in the Super Bowl. That being said, some late night shenanigans will probably not dissuade most NFL fans from rooting against the evil empire of Belichick, Brady, and Kraft. So what exactly happened this past Sunday inside and outside of Lincoln Financial Field? Here are some of the most over the top goings on in the City of Brotherly Love after earning a berth in our sport’s biggest game.

People Punched Police Horses.

Let’s get two things straight about this story.

  1. This happened well before kickoff on Sunday afternoon a little before 3:00 p.m.
  2. Another Eagles fan punched a horse last week as well

Two separate men, presumably with no connection to one another other than bleeding green, white, and silver, punched police horses on consecutive weekends in a drunken stupor. That is two more times than that should ever happen on planet earth, but it happened in the same place, for the same reason, within eight (8) days. Taylor Hendricks, 22, and Andrew Tornetta, 19, were both charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, and reckless endangerment. Go birds.

The Subway Sandwich Of The Game.

If you missed the glorious and infamous subway antics of Jigar Desai, do yourself a favor and watch the footage for yourself.

It cannot be stated strongly enough that once again, THIS WAS BEFORE THE GAME STARTED. In the words of Mr. Desai, “yeah, I hit the pole, but the passion is there”. Amen, brother.

Say what you will about some of the rest of these stories, some of which involve criminal activity and others involve at a minimum, questionable choices, this incident is pure joy, pure excitement. Mr. Desai is a first-generation American who moved to Pennsylvania with his parents as a young boy. His love for the Eagles is all that is great and good in this world. Don’t ever change. For those who are curious, he said he was okay and is expected to be in game condition for the Super Bowl next week.

Philadelphia City Officials Greased Poles With Mixed Results.

You read that correctly. People employed by the government in Philadelphia were instructed and actually paid to rub Crisco all over light poles and other objects to prevent wild revelers from climbing said poles in celebration. These “Crisco Cops” were mostly successful in this task, with only a few dextrous individuals able to fight against the laws of nature and saturated fats to ascend to glory.

This might be the most underrated story of all for a few reasons. Not only did city officials correctly predict that people would be attempting to climb light poles, but they used the hilariously disgusting Crisco to achieve that goal.

Furthermore, fans who clearly would have noticed their hands, shirts, and overall bodies becoming covered with gelatinous cottonseed, just said you know what? I’m still going for it. And go for it they did.

Vikings Fans Are Pissed.

Pardon the French, but Vikings fans might use even more colorful language if they had the chance. Part of this anger is without a doubt due to the dismantling the purple people eaters experienced at the hands of the Eagles, but at least some of this vindictive attitude is understandable.

Many Vikings fans cited incidents of Eagles fans throwing beer cans at Vikings and the Vikings team bus, harassing traveling fans with verbal abuse, and even some fans chanting “F&*# Millie!” – a reference to 99-year-old Millie Wall, who attended her first playoff game last week when the Vikings played the Saints and the Vikings organization invited her to attend on their dime.

It is hard to blame Vikings fans for getting angry at this behavior, some of which has been clearly documented on video. Similarly, it is ludicrous to condemn the entire Eagles fan base. In the videos showing this violent behavior, there are swaths of men and women in green minding their own business and just trying to enjoy the atmosphere.

Lost on all of this is that Eagles fans will now travel to the Twin Cities where Super Bowl LII is being held. I wonder if their arrival will be well received?

Fans Did Rocky Stuff And Mocked Tom Brady.

Here’s an All-American doubly whammy, loving Rocky Balboa and hating Tom Brady. In a scene that was not quite as dramatic as the Oscar-winning film, an Eagles fan drove his or her ATV up the steps leading the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Unfortunately, no one thought to blast gonna fly now at full volume during the proceedings.

Meanwhile, fans pooled their money to purchase a billboard with the message “Get Pumped!” for the upcoming showdown with the Patriots. This is a thinly veiled jab at Brady, whose famously under deflated balls have been the topic of much discussion and scrutiny.

Eagles Fans Are Donating To Charity.

As reported by ESPN, there are some conscientious Eagles fans who have taken it upon themselves to improve the image of the fan base which could use some PR. Those Eagles fans, partially as an apology for the behavior of their cohorts, have started a campaign to donate to The Mike Zimmer Foundation, an organization founded by Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer after losing his wife, Vikki Zimmer, in 2009.

Many fans who donated sent messages of contrition. There is a feeling amongst Philadelphia faithful that a few extreme incidents have been blown out of proportion by the media (sorry about that). This gesture is certainly a step in the right direction.

Along those lines, it is about that time where we must remember that football is just a game. A great game? Yes. A game which many of us love? Absolutely. It is a game nonetheless.

When we consider the abuse which traveling Vikings fans endured at the hands of the hometown Philadelphia crowd, perhaps we should also consider the story of the subway legend Jigar Desai. Mr. Desai’s family moved to Pennsylvania, and we doubt very much that they did so for love of the Eagles. He could have just as easily grown up in Minneapolis-St. Paul as he did near Philadelphia.

The difference between this man running into a subway barrier and having beer cans hurled at his head was a decision his parents made decades ago and the color of the jersey he wore that afternoon. Somewhere along the way, this has gotten well out of hand. In the words of legendary coach Vince Lombardi, “act like you’ve been there before.”

Charlie Cairone

Author Charlie Cairone

Charlie is a Pittsburgh native who has been watching, playing, eating, sleeping, regretting, cursing, and not shutting up about football for three decades.

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Sports Al Dente 2019

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