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Your Fantasy Football Team: Where Are They Now?

Welcome to the fantasy football article that poops on the author’s team. I have mentioned before of my current success on my two fantasy teams but low and behold after the third week, only one of my teams is 3-0. Shocker. But is it really? In this article, we are going to take a magnifying glass to the Pacoima Hooligans. My fantasy team that went 2-1. To begin, I shall give you my team before Week 1 of the NFL season, not in the order drafted. It would’ve been a joke to take my QB in the first round.

QB – Andrew Luck

WR – Tyreek Hill

WR – T.Y. Hilton

WR – Devin Funchess

WR – Josh Doctson

WR – Corey Davis

WR – Robby Anderson

RB – Ezekiel Elliott

RB – LeSean McCoy

RB – Royce Freeman

RB – Derrick Henry

TE – Trey Burton

TE – Charles Clay

K – Matt Prater

DEF – Broncos

When I got home I thought my team to be fairly stacked. I went WR heavy and thought my four RBs would be able to carry throughout a good portion of the season. I am in a standard league so the picks might be slightly different than a PPR league. I changed my tactic of picking the K and Defense in the early teens and waited on them until the last two picks of the draft.

I would have to say the first flaw I see staring at your narrator is LeSean McCoy. This is a lesson to any man, woman, or child drafting NFL players. You have to do some homework on the man and look past the stats that are given on whatever cheat sheet you possess. Off the field, he has been accused of some illegality, but this can ultimately affect his playtime. Zeke would be a good example of that from last season. So besides McCoy and his non-NFL problems, I’d have to say the team looks like a scoring machine. Or does it?

Week 1 Roster: Projected 98 points.

Luck – 19 pts

Hill – 34 pts

Hilton – 10 pts

Elliott – 13 pts

McCoy – 2 pts

Burton – 1 pt

Henry – 2 pts

Prater – 5 pts

Broncos Def – 12 pts

Total: 98 Points.

As you can tell, my team was carried by Tyreek Hill, and the Broncos D came in as my 4th highest scoring player. That is an issue. Both McCoy and Henry did squat and Burton scored the least amount of points.

Clay had zero points on the bench, so you could infer that I should have seen these red flags on the Bills players. No scoring is happening on that team so why play the player for the next week? If only my naïve self would’ve known. Henry was a bust as well and with Marcus Mariota going through his injury, picking up their second back, Dion Lewis, would have been a good come up for the following week.

Week 2 Roster: Projected 94 points

Luck – 13

Hill – 15

Hilton – 14

Elliott – 13

McCoy – 5

Jonnu Smith – 0

Funchess – 7

Brandon McManus – 8

Broncos D – 4

Total: 78 Points

Yeah, 78 points, how pitiful. I am sure all of you who play in the PPR leagues are rolling on the floor with this sad total but the Hooligans still got the W, barely. The team I went against had Odell Beckham Jr., Antonio Brown, and Mike Evans, but luck be a sweet lady, they all flopped for him in Week 2.

I know everyone is wondering where Trey BooBoo went and why the change in kickers, but hear me out…I went out on a whim. And this whim smacked my team in the tooshie. I tried banking on the back up for the injured Delanie Walker and that left me with a fat goose egg.

But along with that McCoy is still starting. This is me hoping he bounces back from a rough week and wouldn’t you know it, he’s a dud and gets hurt. Benching Burton ended up hurting me in the long run since he got 8 points and if I would have started Royce Freeman, I would have had an additional 8 points.

Week 3 Roster: Projected 87 Points

Luck – 13

Hill – 5

Hilton – 5

Elliott – 11

Henry – 5

Burton – 5

Funchess – 12

Chris Boswell – 5

Miami D – 8

Total: 69 Points

And so we have it. At the lowest point of my fantasy season. I receive the dreaded Loss. My team was mediocre at best. Luck barely holding on to the top fantasy performer, while everyone but Elliott and Funchess flopped. This must be super painful to look at for a PPR coach.

Like a rat in the water cooler, everyone on my team died. My player average was 7.6 pts and the only thing that brings me comfort in this loss is the fact that my bench had no breakout players. To me, that means no matter what, I was going to be outscored by my opponent and I had no control over it. Freeman had an 11 point game but that was because of fellow rookie running back Phillip Lindsay being thrown out the game.

In my short-lived relief, the loss finally set in and sent me to the middle of the pack of the fantasy league standings. I tried picking up Ian Thomas and Ito Smith to scavenge from the injured players list. Greg Olsen went down Week 2 so I swooped him up. Same thing with Devonta Freeman and Ito Smith.

Neither player has amounted to anything and I believe that is the lesson to learn of today’s article. The way you draft and who you draft, can, consequently, be more important than the week to week players that are more of a bust than a boom on your team. My kicking and defense situation will remain a problem, while my TE will constantly be a coin flip. If only I didn’t waste the 3rd round pick on Zeke and picked up Alvin Kamara. Or left McCoy on the table in the 4th round and scooped up someone like Joe Mixon or Matt Breida, since Jerick McKinnon got hurt days leading up to the draft. So with that, I bid you adieu.

Thaddeus Kline

Author Thaddeus Kline

SoCal student majoring in Creative Writing and Literature, hoping to one day make a little dent in history my own way.

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